We’re coming up on an anniversary of our first date in about a month. It will be five years ago on September 4 we had our first date. We are working on a book about remarriage. Here’s an excerpt….
“I don’t understand why you aren’t afraid to marry again. Aren’t you afraid he’ll die?” a new widow asked me after reading my book.
I struggled to give an understandable answer. Sometimes it’s true, I am fearful. Mostly, though I am grateful. I’m grateful for the nearly five years God has gifted Jim and I with. I’m grateful every morning that I wake up with Jim by my side. I’m happy when he’s sitting beside me at church, singing with me during worship, glancing at me in understanding at a sermon point. He’s there on lazy Sunday afternoons when we change out of our church clothes into something cozy and comfortable and we veg out on a movie. As we watch our favorite pre-recorded Sunday shows. When we say good-night and drop off to sleep.
Do I want to give any of that up? Of course not. But would I want to protect myself from hurt by not allowing another one into my heart and home because he might leave me in death? No! I’m grateful for the time we’ve had and pray we have many more years.
Years ago, God gave me a verse that rings true now. At that time, I was in a marriage that was not working. I was fearful to say or do something to rock the boat and I came across this verse:
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)
At the time, it gave me courage to speak up and not be silent. Gradually things were better for numerous reasons: counseling, learning to communicate differently, and most of all, prayer. Change in me took place when I realized fear is not always the motivator for keeping silent. There’s a time to speak and a time to be silent. Those words gave courage for both times.
I am comforted by verses throughout the Bible that tell me all good gifts are from above. The promise I will never leave you or forsake you flows throughout my favorite book, the Bible. I cling to those promises in the good and scary times of life.
We’ve been given five years to enjoy each other’s company. Last night we celebrated Jim’s birthday early and saw the stage production of Phantom of the Opera. We enjoyed dinner beforehand, watched the crowd before the show, and marveled at the voices and music. At intermission, we strolled outside in the balmy twilight. The last half of play was even better than the first.
As we drove home and discussed various parts of the play, I glanced out of the car window and saw the full moon–well tonight it will be. There it was. A perfect ending to a beautiful evening.
I conclude in the book – perhaps– with this:
We face life with this niggling of fear, but also know we are not alone—even when one of us leaves this earth. It’s a promise to us in both the New and Old testaments: Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.(Hebrews 13:6)
Enjoy the full moon tonight! It will be there in all its splendor. Forecast is clear skies