Joy Will Come

 

 

I write a lot about grief and how God can bring us through that grief to the other side. How much time? You may ask. That depends on your loss.

I’ve looked at my journals during times of my grief and copied down verses that spoke to me. Here are some of them:

The Lord is close to the broken hearted.
Psalm 34:18 says,
God is our refuge and strength.
Psalm 46:1
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5:4

There was poetry that comforted me:

 

In the gentle stillness of soft rain, hear His voice—reminding you that His love is your umbrella and your sunshine. Unknown

Life is eternal and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
Rossiter Worthington Raymond

There were many down days, but throughout those days, I kept my eyes on God, who comforted me. I remember reading what Oswald Chambers, a renown preacher of years past who said:

Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at this time.cI deliberately prayed I would be confident in God and trust Him. I read the Bible all of the time. Passages that spoke of widows comforted me.

When you are harvesting your crops and forget to bring a bundle of grain from your field, don’t go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigners orphans and widows. Then the Lord will bless you in all you do. Deuteronomy 24:19

A passage in the New Testament was so helpful.

May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it….
Ephesians 3:17b – 18

I copied down a statement from someone who said, “there’s no way to the other side of this storm, but through it.” I found that to be true. I was walking through the storm.

 

I am a reader and love fiction. Yet, during the mourning period, my mind refused to take in fiction. Only non-fiction books and primarily the Bible helped my spirit.

Fast forward a few years. Yes, it takes years to recover from the loss of a spouse. I learned during those years to lean into my God and Savior. Let His love permeate my being. He did. I still mourned. I still missed both times each husband died.

I look back in my journals and thankfully, I can’t fully remember the pain which reminds me of childbirth. As mothers, we forget the pain of labor and delivery until we have another child and then we remember.

Time passed. I continued to live and the sorrows began to recede. Life did go on. I began to desire another man to share my life with me. Some of you don’t desire that. You don’t think you could love another like you did.

I had quite a few dates. Some were laughable, some were fun and chatting with a man was refreshing. None of the men fit my desires or expectations, though. I was ready to give up. In fact, I asked God to change my heart so I didn’t desire a companion so much.

I signed up with one last matching service—I’d tried many. Some were free, others had a monthly fee. This one required the price of a whole year before joining. As I filled out the form and took the test to determine my “match,” I prayed to God that if this matching site didn’t bring someone into my life, He (God) would have to drop him into my life.

It was two weeks later a man popped into my matches. I held my breath as I read about him. He sounded like my kind of guy. He loved his family. Loved Jesus Christ and desired to follow Him no matter what. He sounded like he has been through grief so would understand my losses, too.

Fast forward a few days. Yes, I said a few days. God clearly showed both of us that we were right for each other. I think this passage says it best:

The sun was hidden behind clouds and the morning was cool. We strolled along a quiet pathway in the dim light. Green ferns flourished in the rocky gardens. The high-windowed clerestory looked mysterious in the soft light. As we strolled along, hand in hand, Jim told me he liked to come here and pray. Soon a larger-than-life statue of Jesus carrying the cross loomed into view. “Oh, that’s beautiful!”
I breathed as I looked up.
“This is called the Christus Statue. Let’s stop here for a moment.” Jim paused. “Turn this way, so I can see your face while also looking at the face of Jesus.”
I turned as he asked and he knelt, facing me. My heart quickened as I began to realize what Jim’s intentions were. What will I say?
“I just want to say this in front of this statue of Jesus, the One who guides me in everything I do.” He took my hand. “Shirley Quiring Rudberg Graybill, will you marry me?” In his left hand, he held a small box.
I drew a quick breath. Did I really hear what I think I heard?
“Yes!” I said, as certainty flooded my mind. “I will!” Jim picked me up in his arms and swung me around with joy. I giggled shyly, filled with tummy-pinging delight. My body was suffused with joy and relief that I had met such a quality guy. Someone absolutely perfect for me!

Beyond Second Chances: Heartbreak to Joy

That wonderful day is nearly three years ago now and it’s still true. Jim is that quality guy who has filled my life with love and joy.

I wish I could say this will happen to everyone. If I had a magic wand, I’d wave it over you. But I don’t. I can say this, though. Whether you remain single after being happily married, whether you find another soul mate as I have—thrice—God is right there with you. He is not going anywhere, but right there wherever you are. I’ve been accused of giving too pat answers, and I hope you don’t think these are pat answers, but ones I’ve discovered are true and did work for me.

May you find your comfort and sustenance first from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. If—and when—someone comes into your life, keep Jesus first. It’s the only way.