I  had an email conversation this week with a person who wanted to attend one of the grief classes my husband Jim and I facilitate.  This person wrote, “I just miss my husband so much.” He had died in December, but the grief wasn’t getting better.

Those words brought me back to a time where I didn’t want to burden others with my sadness. There was grief malaise that just sat there. An unwanted guest. Grief is a place no one wants to be.

I can tell you from my own experience that it is a process. The only way to get to the other side of the *process*–or grief–is to wade through the sadness. Cry the tears. Do the work.

The loss is raw and real and time doesn’t take the loss away. There’s a journey each one must take to recover from the loss. For me, and others whom we have worked with, it takes time. Work. Processing through the grief.  You can’t follow steps 1-2-3 and you’re done. You cannot rush it.

I learned when I joined a grief class called GriefShare, there was a road I needed to walk to get to the other side of grief. Part of the walk was immersing myself in God’s word.  A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all (Psalm 34:19).

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We watched a drama this week. In the story, the woman had suffered a miscarriage. She said, “I’m just so sad. I don’t want to be sad.” The listener told her it was just a process she had to go through. The wounded one said, “The process hurts too much. I don’t want to go through the process.”

That was a fictional story, but I lived that story when my own stillborn baby was delivered. All I wanted to do was hold my sweet baby girl, but my arms were empty. I was sad and I didn’t want to be in the sadness. Just as the fictional character said she didn’t want to go through the process, neither did I. But that’s where I was.

She is just as real as a mom with living children. For she is still a mother.  She is the bereaved mother. Lindsey Henke.

It is a process. It is long and hard. But you will get through this. Take the time to be *in* the grief. But also take steps to work *through* the grief. There is a Comforter who is right by your side. I’m not sure in the drama if the bereaved mother found that Comforter, but I did.

There are places to share that grief with others. People who understand the grief process. Don’t try to do it alone. Find a GriefShare group near you. Message me if you live in my area (Vancouver, Washington). A new Grief seminar begins soon.

Grief is a painful experience, and everyone at some time will experience it–no matter if you lived a good life or not. God never promised a pain-free, grief-free life, but He does promise to provide relief from your suffering.

It’s a process.

 A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all (Psalm 34:19).