The Best is Yet to Be

Yesterday was a special day. My husband, Jim, had a birthday and I want to share a little about him today.

Do you ever pray a prayer that you really don’t believe God will answer? In my past, I prayed through a relationship that wasn’t right, asking God to show me His will. At last, God answered that prayer. He answered it by the guy breaking up with me! Afterwards, I realized I was manipulating what the right future man might be in my life and concluded I may not meet another guy as good as my previous late husbands, so I stayed in the relationship. We were engaged to be married, but God answered my prayer about His will for us. Not the way I thought He would, but instead He surprised me with a greater gift!

The gift didn’t come instantly, but after at least 18 months of searching for God’s will, I began to be content in my single state, realizing I was trying to take away the hurt and loneliness of grief by getting into a relationship. I wasn’t ready to date. I was still grieving. It wasn’t fair to either party. I decided to not date, but focus on my grief and learn to live alone. After that season of not dating, not seeking another husband by exploring matching sites, I poured through the Bible, asking God to be close to me and heal my broken heart. I traveled alone. Volunteered. Finished my first book and I led a grief support group.

I wrote the following after those months of prayer and reflection in God’s Word about this time in August nine years ago:

I prayed: “If this doesn’t work, Lord, I won’t do any more searching. My future match will not come about by my manipulating someone into being the right person. You will just have to drop him in my lap!” And Lord, I thought with a smile, “Would you make him crazy about me—and love You more than I do!”

Amazingly, God answered that prayer! I met Jim about a month after that prayer on a match site. One of the questions on the site each of us were asked was: What makes a relationship? Jim’s answers were similar to mine:

1. Honesty
2. Financial security
3. Affection in touch and words
4. Love of family and acceptance of partner’s family

Photo taken just before we met. Jim is happy when he’s with family.

Soon, Jim gave me a call and asked to meet for coffee. We had coffee together and realized how much our life paralleled each other. It wasn’t long before we both knew we were right for each other.

I will tell you, Jim is a quality guy. The more I observe him, the more I admire his qualities. He is loving and kind. He loves his family of course–but he loves mine, too! Most of all, that last phrase of my prayer was answered for Jim loves his Father God as much or even more than I do!

One of his responsibilities as a sibling, is a guardian for his sister who is mentally handicapped. Week after week, he drives over the river against traffic to visit Mary. He indulges her sweet tooth and delivers a strawberry sundae every week. When he visits, he carefully listens to her read her Children’s Bible. Together after reading and she eating her sundae, they pray together. He reminds her to pray for her family and her staff. When she needs something like a new wheel chair, a new recliner, he shops around for the best price and fit for her. Then he sees to it it’s just right. It takes time and effort to get the right one. Sometimes there’s finances to deal with, and Jim takes care of those, too, spending hours on the phone. He loves his little sister. When he says goodbye to her, she always reminds him, “Jim, be sure to put your seat belt on!”

Jim is listening to Mary read.

I have to be very careful when I mention some project I might like to complete. He will practically jump up and do for me what I may have only been contemplating. What a guy!

Jim is a patriot. He spends hours reading books about the history of our country. He has facilitated Constitution classes and becomes more informed while teaching them. He no longer has his consulting business where he helped hospitals and physicians find the right process for improving patient care. Instead, he teaches those who want to learn about our nation’s Constitution.

Jim is a strong believer in Jesus Christ. An elder at our church, he works tirelessly, serving on the church elder board. There are meetings and correspondence and he takes them seriously. He knows he is serving Christ while serving as an elder. He leads a small group at our home, and is convinced we can always learn new things whatever age we are.

Jim is a pray-er. He takes praying very seriously. I love that he is the spiritual leader in our family of two–well three if you count Rudy!

Soon, we will be celebrating nine years of our first meeting–that coffee date, and in December, nine years of marriage. I’m so glad I waited for God’s answer instead of pushing through something that wasn’t right. I am learning our similarities as well as our differences in our nearly nine years of marriage. Our life is rich and I try to enjoy each day we have together. We have been blessed with our relationship and we don’t take our time together for granted. We work on keeping a clean slate and don’t let grudges or fears build up. We ask for forgiveness quickly.

I love how he loves me and my family. I’ve heard from others that in a second marriage how the spouse doesn’t accept the other’s family. That isn’t true for Jim. We’ve traveled many places to attend weddings and see extended members of my family. He is a gift from God!

I like to think of my life as a book with chapters. Some of the chapters are longer than others such as my being born in my biological family. It’s in this first chapter where I learn about Jesus at my parents’ knees. I am blessed with many wonderful memories and learning the truth about how much God loves me. I learned about having a personal relationship with Jesus very early in my life and it has carried me through the rest of the chapters throughout my life.

The second chapter is a full one with marriage and birth of my children. There were highs and lows. Grief and loss in that chapter. The third chapter was not as large of a chapter, but just as powerful in a more compact period of time.

In the fourth chapter, I learned I could live alone and be contented, and in the fifth chapter, you guessed it. That’s when I met Jim.

Robert Browning wrote this:

“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, ‘A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!”

Growing old with Jim is where I want to be. The last of life for which the first was made.