We listed eight items in our book to help your marriage be a charmed marriage. Reading my New Testament this week, I realize number three is based on this verse:

13 bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if someone happens to have a complaint against anyone else. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also forgive others (Colossians 3:13 NET).

3. Keep short accounts.

If you’ve done something to hurt/offend your partner, be honest and apologize—don’t wait until you think it’s the right time. If you’re bothered or offended by something your partner says or does, don’t be afraid to broach the subject.

Forgive. No one is perfect.

Appreciate often. “Thank you for the nice meal,” or “You look really nice today,” or “Thank you for emptying the dishwasher,” or “Thank you for emptying the garbage.” It’s such an easy thing to do and means a lot.

Number 4 requires you to do some research.

4. Learn your partner’s love language

This is an excellent tool in learning how to really love your mate. After reading Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages, we learned what each of our languages were and then expressed our love in ways that spoke the way they heard expressions of love. I learned my love language is “Acts of Service.” I heard “I love you” when Jim helped me with tasks. It could be many things such as emptying the dishwasher, taking out the garbage, filling the gas tank of the car. Jim helps me vacuum the house weekly. He’s a great sous chef, too! I love it that he clears up my messes as I prepare our dinner!

Jim learned his language is “Words of Affirmation,” meaning love notes, me telling him what I enjoy about him. Spoken words are good, but I know notes written on a piece of paper speak to him the most. I observe him using one of my notes as a bookmark and he carefully saves every one of them.

You can take the love language test for free online. We think the principles make a lot of sense.

We’ve just discussed two areas to to help your marriage become a charmed marriage: 1)Keep short accounts, 2)Learn your spouse’s love language. 

Some of you reading this are either widowed or divorced or never married. You can apply this to your roommate, other household members, or even where you work.

To review: Here’s the first four:

Pray together

Communicate

Keep Short Accounts

Learn your partner’s love language

Get started on these four. Read up on love languages. Find out what your love language is.

Next week, we’ll tackle only one. It’s a biggie!

In the meantime, have a blessed Thanksgiving!