What do I feel now? I feel tired. Ah, blessed sleep–so illusive. If I could just lie down right now, I think I could sleep…(a journal entry from a January)
This time I was mourning a second death of a second husband. That time is behind me now, but I realize some of you are facing the raw, winter of grief. What did I do during that time? I took the time to grieve. What does that mean? I think it means to not push too quickly out of the pain—though instinctively you want to. The wisest man said this:
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance (Ecclesiastes 3:1,4),
I think we should take his advice and if we are in that time of mourning, take the time. When the time is taken, there is healing. Shakespeare said, He who lacks time to mourn, lacks time to mend. I think that’s true.
What if I don’t have the time to mourn? You might ask. One friend who’d lost her only son through heart failure, told me her job was very much in the public so she couldn’t have the sad, mourning face in the daytime. Instead, she set aside a time each evening to remember. To look at photos. To read about her son. To remember him and mourn–and weep.
Perhaps you aren’t mourning. You might wonder why I’m addressing mourning and death and sadness. Because it seems it’s all around us now. If you aren’t mourning, be glad. Give the ones who are mourning time to recover. To mourn. I think God gives the best prescription for grief:
They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31).
I have the perfect view of the morning sky as I sit at my desk. Right now it is nearly dark, but I see a pinkness in the gray clouds…It reminds me of mourning. It seems really dark and gloomy, but there is pinkness that is hope. A renewing of strength.
The time of dancing will come. Right now, take the time to mourn.
Shirley, your blog this morning was so meant for me. It seems the past few weeks that I have been going to Memorial services, wakes and funerals of deal loved family members and friends. This Sunday I’m driving up to Kennebunk, Maine for a Memorial service for my cousin, Bob. Bob would have turned 75 years young on Saturday and we should have been celebrating that! Instead on Sunday, we will mourn his loss with his three beautiful daughters, his brother, and even my cousin, Kathy, is flying in from Santa Clara, California. There is a season for everything and this is our season to mourn.
I enjoy your blogs each week and enjoyed meeting you and Jim when you were our guest speaker at our Christian Women’s Luncheon in Kingston, NH a couple of years ago.
God bless,
Judy, you were an answer to prayer because I asked God to give me what to write—and for a specific person. Bless you as you mourn—I get it.
I so enjoyed that trip to New England and even the place where we met. There are treasures of memories. Thanks for reading! Hope we meet again!Warmly, Shirley