Sunrise out my front window.

One evening this week as we drove home, I exclaimed, “It’s nearly nine o’clock and it’s still light!”

“This week will have the longest days of light,” Jim replied.

I felt a little sad then, for I knew that if this week contained the longest days, soon the longer days of light would begin to be shorter.

Do you ever long for something and you’re not quite sure what? I confess I do. For example, I remember as a child being a little sad when all of the Christmas presents were opened. Christmas was over, never to return–at least that Christmas.

Another longing or perhaps sadness that stands starkly in my mind, took place right after my wedding ceremony to my first husband Bill. It’s over. I thought. All those months and months of planning the big day. Saving money and choosing the right dress for me, my wedding veil, my bridesmaids dresses. The cake. The flowers. We even made groom’s cake. As we walked down the church aisle after being pronounced husband and wife, I almost felt like crying. The sadness was brief and soon, I was in the moment of joy and happiness as a young bride, greeting the guests. Posing for photos. Kissing the groom.

Here we are. Bill and Shirley. So young. He was 21 and I was 19. We had forty years together.

Another brief moment of sadness was after the birth of my second child. She was a girl and we’d decided if we had another boy, we could have another baby, but if it was a girl (and she was) we would be done with babies. As I nuzzled her sweet neck and kissed and kissed her soft face, I wept. This is the last.  There have been other moments in my life, but those moments stand out to me most starkly.

Todd, age 5, Erika, one week old. When I snapped this photo, I was younger than both of these little ones now……

Shakespeare seems appropriate here from Romeo and Juliet:

Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.

I realize I can’t continue to mourn every  moment in life or I’d be sad all the time. But sometimes, I think it’s ok to be introspective and think about fleeting moments. The sweet and savory moments in life.

As I grow older, I know there are fewer tomorrows to face. I remember a line I heard from a TV series, “Touched by an Angel.”  Someone was dying and as the angel of death approached him, the angel took his hand and said, “It’s time to start forever.” Does that touch something in your heart like it did mine? In our forever, we won’t have those bittersweet moments any longer. Because it’s forever. No more tomorrows, just forever.

I couldn’t choose just one sunset: