Take A Look Back—You Might Be Surprised!

I’m a journal writer. I don’t sit and write about every single thing that goes on in my life, but those important days where I am troubled or happy, or sad. I should really call it a prayer journal. I haven’t done it all my life, but through the cloudy days, more than sunshiny days. It’s good to keep the journals. Looking back is revealing and sometimes exciting.

I’m thinking about the summer of 2013. It had been a good one. For a full week, my three sisters and I had a “retreat” together. Joyce came down from Seattle, Betsy, from Arizona, and Eileen drove 2 miles from her home to my house where we camped out and enjoyed each other’s company.

We stayed up late at night talking, remembering, sharing our lives. During that week, we drove to some of our old houses and walked around.

We even took photos in front of the elementary school three of the four attended.

During this time, I was on a matching service that provided prospects for me. Yes, I was looking for a companion and possible husband—I’ll be honest about that. I had quite a few encounters. Sometimes they were “interesting,”other times, I couldn’t wait to finish the obligatory cup of java, and then scoot out. I had fun anticipating who this blind date would be on the first meeting and usually I knew if this guy would be the right match for me. They were mostly pleasant. Some a bit more crafty and I had to ease myself out  when I heard their complete history. Mostly, though, they just weren’t a “match.”

That’s where my journal writing comes in. I’m paging through entries in the summer of 2013.

From August:

Relationship with _______. Your wisdom and my discernment. I know you want my very, very best.

No matter your circumstance, you can depend on Him every time.

I need Your help Lord, in so many areas. Physical. But it’s my heart, dear LORD. You know me and understand me. Lord, I just want someone. I’m so lonely. Would you take that desire away from me please?

Please change my heart to be content.

Lord, in my solitude which really isn’t, for there are people and comforts. I give myself to You. You are who I need more than anyone, including a husband. Be my strength and shield—and my husband. You know my heart and mind—and my needs too. Show me your ways, dear Lord. Help me be content. Take the desire of a companion away if that is not Your will.

The LORD is my strength and my shield.

Do you feel like you’re invading someone’s very private thoughts on paper? I am being very transparent. As you can see from the above entries, I’m laboring over my desires to be married again. My previous marriages had been so fulfilling. The first marriage lasted for forty years and had its ups and downs, but there were more ups and than downs and ended on a note so fulfilling. I didn’t realize how much so until he was gone. The second marriage was delightful and new. We were only married for seventeen months and I felt cheated we weren’t given more time together. Fast forward three and a half years. That’s where I was the summer of 2013. In late August, I decided to try another on-line matching service. I can’t find the entry where I prayed this prayer, but I still remember it well. I said, Lord, I’m giving this service six months (that’s what I paid for, a full six months). If I don’t meet someone during this time, You’re going to have to drop him in my lap. I really did pray that!

Let’s move on to September. Labor Day, September 2, 2013. I checked my email and “matches” my match site sent me. There was a new one! Wow did he ever sound perfect. I got excited when I read what he wrote. I won’t go into the next few interactions but fast forward to Wednesday morning, September 4. I was at a meeting and my cell phone was on silent. I saw a call come through with a 503 area code (this was where that perfect guy lived). I listened to the voice mail–I slipped out of the meeting, I was so sure it was the guy–and sure enough, it was him! His name was Jim. He asked me to meet him for coffee someplace in between our homes. He lived near Troutdale, Oregon, I lived in Vancouver, Washington. We were practically neighbors!

We met for coffee and that date lasted two hours and I was nearly late for an appointment after our date. We made arrangements to see each other again…..and the rest is history!

Here are a few journal entries from early September:

Thank you Lord, for the peace that passes understanding.

I will greatly rejoice in the LORD.
My soul shall be joyful in my God;
For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
He has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.(Isaiah 61:10)

Now Jim has crept into my prayers and requests.

Jim: Your revealing will regarding our relationship. Help us explore each other’s lives. Reveal what we need to see in each other. Guide our steps.

Jim and me—Your will for us. Help us to each see each other for who we really are.

It starts getting interesting now. And then, this entry on September 18, 2013.

Thank you for bringing Jim into my life. God, You are so good and faithful.

Weeping may endure for a a night.
But joy comes in the morn ing.

Wowzers! Do you see how close those entries are? That heartfelt prayer was written August 24. It was September 4 when the answer came back to me in the form of Jim. That seems really close together, doesn’t it? But I’m not including months and months and months of time where I was alone and lonely. Where I was grieving first the loss of a second husband. A broken engagement. And finally, that summer of 2013, where I resigned myself to be single. Yet, God answered my prayer.

Here I am, March 24, 2017. I’ve know that mystery guy, Jim, for three years, six months and twenty days. Was he the right guy for me? YES!! We writers are cautioned to rarely use all caps because they come across as shouting. In this case, that’s exactly what I mean. I’m exclaiming aloud a resounding YES!

God is so good! In my case, He answered my prayer by bringing the perfect guy in my life. That may not be your story. Your history may cause you not to want to be with another guy–or gal. Whatever your circumstances, whether you’re lonely and wanting a relationship with someone, or you’re perfectly happy living by yourself, I can tell you the Bible verses I carefully copied down more than three years ago now, are still true.

I will greatly rejoice in the LORD.
My soul shall be joyful in my God;

Weeping may endure for a a night.
But joy comes in the morn ing.

He will do it for you, too, dear reader. Perhaps not the way He did for me. He cares for you, too.

Everyone has a story. I do. You do. I suggest you start writing down major prayers or events in your life. If only to look back and see what God has done!

 

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