Choose Life
This past Sunday was Sanctity of Life Sunday. At our church, we had a stirring message about protecting unborn babies. I was grateful our pastor spoke for life. He gave many statistics that were powerful. There have been 62 million babies aborted since it was legalized in 1973.
Sometimes though, numbers are difficult to grasp. What does 62 million mean? I looked up the population census for the four states of California, Oregon, Washington, and Idaho and the population of the four is approximately 52 million. That gives a better perspective of numbers. Shocking numbers.
I could give more statistics, but I hope a story might make it more real.
This is a story about Catherine (not her real name). It is a true story. We met about twenty years ago and were casual friends as we played in an orchestra together. During our conversations during breaks at rehearsals, we discovered we both loved to write. More importantly, we learned we were both Christians. One long weekend early in our friendship, we took a writers’ retreat in a cabin at the beach. There were three of us and we separated into three different rooms, working on our writing projects. Later in the evening, we would share what we’d written. During the day, Catherine sat at a counter nearby, I sat in the dining room. Often, I would glance up and see Catherine typing, sometimes pausing and shaking her head. “This is hard,” she looked at me, tears glistening in her eyes.
Later, we each shared what we’d worked on that day. When Catherine read her portion, I gasped with astonishment and said, “You must share this story!”
“You think so?” she asked with doubt in her voice.
“Yes!”
This is Catherine’s story, the one I heard the first time at that writer’s retreat.
Catherine became a mother at a young age. She was married at seventeen. During the short time they were married, she endured much physical abuse from her husband, and before her baby was born, they were divorced. She found herself a single mother of a baby girl. It was all she could do to support the two of them. In fact she lived with her parents to make it. Later, she married again and this husband abused alcohol. Sadly, that marriage ended too.
Wanting a fresh start far from this small town in Minnesota, Catherine relocated to California to begin a new life.
Very soon after her move, she was dismayed to discover she was once again pregnant. How can this be? She thought. I can’t support another child. I’m barely making it now. Many thoughts swirled through her mind as she tried to solve her dilemma, including abortion. After all, it might be better. She wouldn’t have to go through pregnancy and try to raise two children as a single mom. But Catherine knew she was carrying life within her and this life came from God! Instead of getting “rid” of the problem, as some advised her to do, she began to consider adoption and consulted a private agency.
The adoption was a closed adoption (closed adoptions means the adoptive parents and birthmother have no contact with each other. The records are closed). Catherine believed this would be best for the child although her heart was breaking, knowing she wouldn’t be able to raise and love this child she carried near her heart.
Catherine gave some stipulations as to who would adopt her baby. The parents needed to be of German descent, be Christians and belong to the Lutheran Church. The agency told her that it would be possible to be specific in her desires, but they wouldn’t be able to divulge any information to her after the adoption was final. The counselor at the agency stressed to Catherine the weighty action she was taking, and cautioned her to carefully ponder her decision before she consented to the adoption.
Catherine’s employer loved and cared for her as a friend as well as boss, and attempted to talk her out of giving the baby up for adoption. Catherine heard from all sides before she made the decision.
Right up to the day of the birth of her baby, Catherine wavered in her decision. How can I give up my own child? Finally, when she gave birth to a boy, the baby was put into a foster care home. Two months later, Catherine made the agonizing decision to sign the adoption papers. She knew the baby would be better off. Her son would be more secure and have better educational opportunities to be raised with a mother and a father. She gave her baby life by carrying him to birth and then selflessly gave him up for adoption.
Little did she know a childless couple from Germany had just emigrated to the United States and settled near the town where Catherine lived. This German couple, recently new to our country, adopted him. They named him Samuel, which means in Hebrew “God has heard.”
Once Catherine made up her mind, she knew it was the right thing to do, but she never forgot the little baby she had glimpsed briefly after his birth. She remembered him often in her prayers.
Thirty years passed. One evening, Catherine’s phone rang. “Is this Catherine _______ ?” The male voice used a different last name than she now had, but the name was one she recognized. ”Did you give birth in October ______ to a baby boy in California?” Catherine immediately knew who this voice belonged to, because this was the day and place where her son was born. After asking a few questions—Catherine was shocked and nearly speechless, but filled with joy!
She learned he was happy, married, and lived in California. He confided to her that he planned to leave his career and attend seminary to become a pastor. A Lutheran pastor! They continued to learn more about each other.
Catherine traveled several times a year to visit Samuel and his family. She joyfully met his two children and later, when Sam adopted a young man, he became her grandson, too.
She and Sam’s adoptive mother became close. She, just like Catherine, was a petite woman, under five feet tall. They immediately connected and there were even family photographs with both mothers in the photo. They joked that they were “two short women who love the same son”.
Sam’s adoptive parents are both gone now, but he knows he will see them again for they strongly believed in Jesus and eternal life in heaven with Him. This last year, Catherine also went to be with her Savior, Jesus Christ.
Why do I tell Catherine’s story? Because I want to remind those who might read this and they have an unexpected and unplanned pregnancy, there is a solution that is life, not death.
Did you have an abortion? Or did you drive someone to have one and you feel guilt? Did it seem like the only solution? You can’t undo the past. You may wonder if God can ever forgive you. Let me tell you, He does forgive you. I John 1:9 says, “if we admit our sins—simply come clean about them—he won’t let us down; he’ll be true to himself. He’ll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing.” Psalm 103:12, says “And as far as sunrise is from sunset, he has separated us from our sins..”
I haven’t had an abortion, but that doesn’t mean I always supported the pro life agenda. I was silent. Complacent. I kept my opinions about it to myself. There are Christians who had an unplanned pregnancy and thought abortion was the only solution. Or you believed the lies that it was only tissue, not a baby. God forgives that too.
Are you in a crisis situation? Before you do anything, think about Catherine’s story. There are other alternatives and resources. There are people who can and will help you. There are two free clinics in this area and I know there are many clinics across our country: Washougal: pathways180.com, Vancouver: options360.org, and nationally: care-net.org.
I know Catherine would be glad I told her story. She chose life.
What a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing. I once took in a friend of my daughters who was pregnant and kicked out of her family…she was going to abort….I said no, not as long as you’re under my roof. She then gave the baby girl up for adoption and now has a husband and other children. I admire this young gal for her decision.
Powerful Diane!