It was a busy Easter, Resurrection Sunday. My son flew in his airplane down to spend the day with us. My daughter and her family, plus a couple of extras were there too. I had responsibilities at church early so all day Saturday I prepared for the busy Sunday ahead. Set the table for eleven. Cut and prepared salads. My part was ready and my daughter would contribute the rest.
Earlier that week Jim and I had a conversation about the dinner menu. He said, “I’d really like to be in charge of the ham. Would you let me? I’ll go to Costco and pick up a spiral ham, put it in the oven and you won’t have to worry about it at all.”
“Okay,” I relented. I enjoy preparing and planning a family meal. I want it to be special for everyone and think of everyone’s favorite dish. Having the meat taken care of was a positive thing–but I had to give up some of my control. That’s hard after fifty some years of preparing special meals.
The service was wonderful. My part–playing my violin with the worship group went well. I’d been practicing and it paid off. My entire family was together in a row a few pews behind me. I prayed they would enjoy our pastor’s message and especially, enjoy the music. My plan was to have dinner all ready when the crowd arrived at our home right after church. As we slowly made our way to the car, I casually mentioned to Jim, “I’ll bet that ham will smell really good when we walk in the house!”
He had a shocked look on his face. “Ham?” he asked.
“You’re kidding, right?” I blurted.
“Uh, no, I’m not,” he stammered.
“What? We discussed it would take ninety minutes to roast! You said you wanted to take care of it!”
I saw the look of dismay on Jim’s face. He’d forgotten with his desire to help transport me to church so I wouldn’t have to drive. He wanted to provide coffee and conversation with my son, Todd. He forgot to put the ham in!
I had two choices. I could remind him he was the one who wanted to do this. Thoughts were swirling in my brain. How could he forget? I knew I should have insisted on taking care of the meat! And then, I realized it really didn’t matter.
It did work out. We quickly set out some snacks for those too hungry to wait. We were fine with the dinner a bit later.
I thought back to other times in my life where if that had happened, I would have exploded and been embarrassed. Instead, I remembered something I’d read earlier that morning. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32).
I swallowed my irritated thoughts, gave Jim a smile, and forgave his forgetfulness that only happened because he was being tenderhearted to me as well as trying to be a good host to my family.
All was well. I’m reminded of the dedication we wrote in the beginning of the book we wrote together less than a year ago. Part of it says:
…..We want to acknowledge the challenges and joys we have experienced from our previous marriages and thank Bill, Blair, Margi, and Kathy. You have each contributed to the foundation we now enjoy…..
Our foundation was solid because of our past. Dinner was fine. We were fine. God is good. All the time.
Such a good reminder. Be flexible and don’t sweat the small stuff. Life is good. God is great.
You are so right, Karin! Blessings!
Yes. Usually an hour, a day, or several days later doesn’t make much of a difference. But kindness is always remembered. My advice to young couples is “Be nice and kind to each other.”
Great advice!
Wonderful, Shirley!! Must have been Holy Spirit Power
putting all of that together along with your
obedience! Your situation encouraged me as
I experience more and more to depend on
Holy Spirit power in my everyday interactions.
To know when to speak and when not to…
and always to forgive. And to Jesus’ Glory!
Thank you and Jim for your transparency.
Thank you Linda and Tom. It truly is the Holy Spirit doing His work!
Hugs, Shirley