One day, one of us will leave earth for heaven. It will be difficult, but it’s useless to worry about something that will eventually happen. We choose to enjoy the time granted to us, grateful for every shared instant. From Second Chance at Love: Navigating the Path to Remarriage.

I’m giving you a sneak peek from our new book, nearly complete. I’ve written now three books with the words “second chance” in them. I am amazed how my life–and most likely yours, too, is full of second chances. Second chances in marriage. Friendships. Parenthood. Life itself.

Today is Valentine’s Day. The day we celebrate with hearts and chocolate and gifts and flowers. I am blessed with someone who showers me with all of those things–and more. But that doesn’t mean I’ve always experienced them.

When I was a young girl in school, Valentine’s Day was a big deal. There would be a big box decorated with cut out hearts and a slot on top where students would deposit their valentines to their classmates. It was with excitement I’d have a stack of envelopes scrawled with my name on the front. It was intoxicating. I would take them home and read them again. Most were store bought, but a few were hand made. What a day.

When I was married and had my own children, I always tried to make the day a special one. With candles on the table set with my best china. A special meal with a heart shaped cake for dessert. I wanted my family to know they were special. And then, they were all grown up and out of the home. I was alone with my sweetheart. Our marriage was not always the idyllic one. Sometimes he forgot to get me a valentine and I was hurt. Sometimes we said things to each other that we shouldn’t have, but we stuck together. I’d say it was because we both were so stubborn. Eventually, we figured out a way to live and love each other. It was a pretty simple thing, really. What was it, you ask. It was communicating! Yes. Listening to what the other was saying, repeating it back to them. If we didn’t state it correctly, we would re-state it until it was right. Occasionally, we still didn’t agree, but we learned to agree to disagree and it was ok. Our love flourished with this new way of communicating and we experienced a much better relationship in our marriage. And then, he was gone. I was glad there were no regrets in that 40 year marriage to Bill.

For several Valentine’s Day, I was alone with my memories of what was. Then, God gave me a second chance at love with my husband, Blair. He was a dream come true and after being alone, I never wanted to waste time over things that really weren’t that important. Our marriage was short and we celebrated only one Valentine’s Day together as a married couple. That relationship taught me how much I could love again and how precious each moment is.

I was alone again for four Valentine’s Days. I made the best of them by celebrating by myself or with a friend, offering to babysit my grands. And then, I was given another second chance. This is our seventh Valentine’s Day together. I know we are blessed, but I also know it can change in a moment. That’s why I included the quote above. And why, We choose to enjoy the time granted to us, grateful for every shared instant.

But what if you don’t have a sweetheart to celebrate with this day? May I make a few suggestions? Make a special dessert and take it to someone. A lonely neighbor. A family who has little. Offer to babysit for a young family so the parents can celebrate this day without having to pay a sitter. Write down any special memories you have of time with a loved one–it’s ok to shed some tears for what once was and is no longer. Take yourself out to dinner–or lunch–and if you’re blessed as I am, enjoy your day with your sweetheart. One day you may not be able to.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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