When The “Drugs” Wear Off–Valentine Thoughts

Posted by on February 16, 2018 in Shirley's Blog | 2 comments

He popped the question and I said yes…….we were on the drugs of love.

 

Why don’t we just get moving? I asked myself. Then chastised that voice. What’s wrong with me? God made him that way. He feels more comfortable if he knows what’s next.

 

I realized something had changed in my thought process.

I realized something had changed in my thought process. Yup….the “drugs” were beginning to wear off. Drugs? Yes. Those wonderful, dazzling, beautifully electrifying drugs that take a man and a woman on an exciting journey, when  the sparks of love begin. They electrify and charge the brain, releasing endorphins that give pleasure to our heart and soul.

 

It was a choice and the feelings followed.

 

Yes, the drugs were wearing off, but love remained. The difference was in my choice. To love. Accept. Serve–even when I didn’t feel like it. It was a choice and the feelings followed.  Now we’re in a period where there’s love, yes, but also commitment. Contentment. Comfortableness. Acceptance. Our drugs lasted nearly two years where both of us were blind to the blemishes in the other’s personality.

 

That was an attraction to both of us.

 

For example, both of us are planners–that was an attraction to both of us. But Jim’s planning is different than mine. He needs to take an hour by hour excursion of his day–even several times during the day. Here’s a glimpse of a morning conversation:

Jim: “Let’s think backwards and plan the day. We need to leave at 10:00.”

Me:  “I need thirty minutes to get ready. Don’t forget we need to eat breakfast, too…..”

Jim: “So. We leave at 10:00, get ready at 9:30, get something to eat at 9:00, walk at 8:00. Do our devotions before that. Great! We enough time!”

In his mind, it’s all settled. He can relax. For me, it was a lot of talking and planning to just say, “We have 2 1/2 hours before we leave.”

 

We love each other for who we are.

But, that’s love. Letting Jim be Jim. The careful, methodical, and a bit OCD Jim–who is also very patient and kind. He needs to be, to live with me. That person who growls at the other drivers in traffic, gets all worked up when there’s a deadline, who giggles when you’re trying to be serious. Who gets impatient. That’s me. We love each other for who we are, yes. And when we wonder about the other……we choose to love. And love follows. Someone once suggested to substitute your own name where the word love is when reading the love chapter in Corinthians. Shirley is patient, Shirley is kind…..Uh oh….that isn’t me all of the time–lots of the time.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

 

We’ve had so much fun these past four years.

We enjoyed Disneyworld with Kevin, Kerri and Rowan, March, 2014.

We visited the Louvre, October, 2015. Yes, that’s the Mona Lisa in the background.

Somewhere in the South Pacific, October, 2016.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the White House May,2017.

A selfie taken in Vancouver–home sweet home, December 2017.

 

Thanks for reading my blog!

 

 

 

 

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2 Comments

  1. Shirley, our journey of love has taken us through many highs & lows for 52 years of wedded bliss! Being married & staying married these many years have opened my eyes & my heart to our differences. The thing I’ve learned over time is in order to have peace in spite of those differences if to allow my spouse to be himself & pursue his dreams which are often different than mine. I didn’t always know or do this but if I let go, then my dreams & purpose can also become a reality! Inspirational International author, speaker humanitarian aid worker with a passion to help those with broken wings.

    • Barbara, I was married to my first husband for 40 years before he entered Heaven’s gates. We both learned to accept our differences–but it took more than 20 years. Our final years were beautiful! In my second marriage of only 17 months, we experienced only the honeymoon period–it was so short. Both Jim and I in my third marriage are benefiting from the marriages before–although it isn’t perfect, it is as close as it can be.

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