Sweet smelling Daphne

I was delighted the other day to see my little Daphne bush has blooms on it. It reminded me of the first time I smelled this tiny flower…Waiting for my fiancé, Bill, outside a building at college, I noticed a large plant  that was loaded with white blossoms tinged with lavender leaning against the brick building. I walked over to the bush, sniffed and moaned with pleasure at the marvelous scent. I plucked a tiny twig loaded with blooms and enjoyed the perfume-y aroma for a long time. Everytime I sniff the Daphne now, it reminds me of those years long past.

Enjoying my little flowers on my desk.

There were good times and bad with my fiancé, who later became my husband. Times where I was frustrated and angry with him. Times when I couldn’t wait for him to come home. Quiet times. Scary times. Frustrating times. I loved that man.

I’m inspired by one of my favorite books in the Bible, Isaiah. He reminds us that the past troubles will be forgotten. I find that to be true. There were flaws in that marriage–as in every union–and after stumbling along dysfunctionally for more than half of those forty years, we finally found a way to communicate which made a world of difference. We learned to repeat things back to each other, really listening to what the other was saying instead of just wanting to be heard ourselves. It seems such a simple thing, yet we had to let go of our stubbornness in thinking the other person needed to change. That key element made a major difference in our marriage. From that point on, we enjoyed being together instead of basically running our marriage like a business.

For those last twenty years, we learned a lot of things together and built our trust in each other again. He learned he could say something to me without being criticized. I learned there was a kind, caring man inside that rough exterior. We climbed mountains. We hiked. We traveled. We loved. We welcomed grand babies into the world and loved being grandparents.

Bill is no longer here, but I have precious memories of him. Memories that only we share. We had a good ride, Bill. I’m so glad I said yes to you so many years ago now…..I’ll see you again–on the other side.

I’m grateful for sniffs of pleasure that bring back beautiful memories.

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