Red roses say it all.

Are you anticipating Valentine’s Day with some trepidation?

For some of you, your special Valentine is no longer here on earth and that is your dread.

Or, your Valentine is here on earth but not who you thought would be the perfect valentine. They’ve disappointed you.

It might be you’ve never had a Valentine in your life.

Primarily, I’m writing to you who have loved and lost. I remember thirteen years ago, my sweet valentine just died only eleven days earlier. The wonderful tribute to my husband at his memorial service and beautiful fly-over at his graveside was moving to all who saw it. I hadn’t gone back to work just yet. There I was, without my sweetheart. My dear sister from Seattle understood it would be a difficult day by myself, so she drove down to be with me. We first visited with our mother who was recovering from a broken hip at a nearby rehab center. Afterwards, we drove to a tiny restaurant in a nearby small town. It was a quiet dinner, with only three or four tables in the dining room. We talked about family, our mom, and my sweetheart, Bill. I wasn’t alone and I was glad she was with me.

Celebrating Valentine’s Day without a sweetheart is difficult but I have some ideas you might consider if you are alone:

Take yourself out to dinner/lunch on the day. Enjoy your own company. When my second husband passed away unexpectedly after only seventeen months of marriage, I thought I’d never want to enjoy food or time out ever again. I remember the advice given to me by someone I scarcely knew. She suggested I take myself out to dinner. She said, “You will certainly have a man in your life again. Take this time to enjoy your singleness. Go out to dinner by yourself. Decide what you want to eat. Where you want to sit. When you want to leave.” It was good advice and I did it.

Taking her advice to heart, I bravely planned to celebrate our second wedding anniversary alone, at a lovely, newly-restored Portland Victorian bed and breakfast. I walked myself to an Italian restaurant in the summer heat. Sipping my lemon drop, I savored my favorite pasta–gorgonzola tortellini with red peppers and spinach in a cream sauce……

I enjoyed my chocolate dessert, watching the other diners, and walked slowly back to my room at the B&B. I wasn’t able to sleep much that night, but I accepted all of this. I was doing the work of grieving. 

(From Second Chances At Life andLove, With Hope)

Make dinner for a family member or friend. Show your love to someone you love. They aren’t your sweetheart, but they’ll enjoy your gift.

Go to Safeway, buy a dozen roses and give a rose to individuals in a retirement home/care facility. They only cost $10 for a dozen. What fun to put a smile on someone’s face.

Write your sweetheart who is no longer on earth a loving note. Read it out loud as if they were in the room with you.

Buy yourself a treat–you decide what!

Surprise your neighbor with a chocolate heart.

Smile at yourself in the mirror.

All right. I’ve given you some ideas. If your sweetheart is still with you, show them how much you love and appreciate them. I think it’s fun to make a memorable dinner, light the candles, and have a luscious dessert. Just for the two of you. When my family was young, the children were part of the special dinner. If you still have children in the home, include them and make memories.

The last thing I’d like to suggest, is to give thanks to the Giver of life and the real reason we celebrate Valentine’s Day: Jesus. He is there. He is with you. When I give talks I close with this prayer. Perhaps you’ve never prayed it before. This Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to do it:

Thank You, God, for loving me….

….and for sending Your Son to die for my sins.

I sincerely repent of my sins…

….and receive Jesus Christ as my personal savior.

Now as Your child….

….I turn my entire life over to You.

Amen

Happy Valentine’s Day, dear ones. If you prayed that prayer, let me know. I’d love knowing you’ve taken that step and I’ll pray for you.

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