It’s a Daily Thing

“This is serious,” she said. I was in shock. Me? The person who was always the caregiver?The one who helped her spouse feel better? Get better?

One morning this past week, we had an appointment and we have quite a procedure each morning since Jim came home from the hospital. We go through a process of my giving Jim an infusion of antibiotics to help him battle this infection in his bones. It’s a lengthy process that takes about thirty minutes to complete. While getting ready to take care of these things before Jim’s appointment, I noticed my heart beating rapidly. Like I’d been hiking up a steep hill, but I hadn’t done anything more than take a shower. I sat down but the racing heart continued. What’s wrong with me? After about an hour, the sensation ended. I mentioned it to Jim and he said, “I think we should tell the doctor (she is our primary care doctor and we both go to her) about this.”

“No, it’s fine. We don’t need to bother her with this.” I countered.

At the office, we walked through with the doctor Jim’s past hospitalization, future treatment, and a hopeful diagnosis. “You’ll look back on this experience, as something in the past. This won’t continue for the rest of your life.” She gave us hope.

And then, Jim piped up, “Shirley doesn’t want me to mention this, but she had an “incident” this morning.” Instead of brushing off his statement and moving on to her next appointment, she paused and asked more questions. Then she took her stethoscope and listened to my heart.

“I’m going to order an EKG for you.” Which was done a few minutes later. The doctor–we’ll call her Dr. Jessie–came back and told me Jim was right to tell her about my “incident,” because I was in AFib.

I was shocked. Me? I kept myself in good shape. I went to the gym. Watched my diet. My heart was good. I thought I was pretty good in keeping my body in a healthy condition. As I contemplated this, I realized something wasn’t right inside me. And I’m not talking about the fluttering heart. No, it was a gleam of pride mocking me deep inside.

I was concerned about my health, of course. But more than that, I didn’t like it that it was ME having the symptoms. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to admit I have a body that is gradually slowing down. Needing something or someone to help me with troubling symptoms. It was pride! What is pride? Here’s a pretty good definition: a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

How does God look on pride? I will not tolerate anyone who is proud and arrogant Psalms 101:5, I hate pride and arrogance (Proverbs 8:13), For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world (I John 2:16). 

This morning, I read through the some verses about keeping in check with how we live and think. If we are followers of Jesus, we need to keep short accounts with him. After reading, I was asked what sin might be in my life. Right away, I knew what it was. Pride.

Instead of giving any excuse, I prayed and asked for help in ridding myself of this not-so-good personality trait. Instead of debating that maybe I wasn’t so bad, I asked God to help me and forgive me for my pride in thinking I don’t have any problem in thinking I’m superior to others.

It’s amazing how quickly the Holy Spirit–who is God–reassured me once I confessed–that I am forgiven. Just like that, I know I’m forgiven.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and there is no truth in us. ⁹ But if we confess our sins to God, he will keep his promise and do what is right: he will forgive us our sins and purify us from all our wrongdoing. ¹⁰ If we say that we have not sinned, we make a liar out of God, and his word is not in us (I John 1:7-10 GNT).

Now that I’m forgiven, I can go about my day, knowing I’m in a right relationship with God. You see, it’s a daily thing. Taking a look at ourselves, admitting to God I’m not perfect and need forgiveness.

After doing so, I’m going to give thanks. And honor the God who made me.

 

Here’s a brief summation of the miracles Jim and I have experienced in the past three weeks.

They discovered Jim had an abscess along his spine and in a muscle near the spine–dangerous.

Had they done the surgery as was planned, it would have been very dangerous–probably fatal.

They discovered the infection because of the terrible pain he’d had.

He had to be under a doctor’s supervision during this time of battling the infection, and our need to see the doctor.

I had to drive him to his appointments because he can’t drive due to the medications he is on.

I had AFib the morning of his appointment and instead of my pridefully telling Jim not to mention it to the doctor, he did mention it, and it might have saved my life.

My neighbor, who is a physician, said this about the AFib incident: Wow…. What are the chances …. God spoke through Jim to alert your doctor, it wasn’t even your appointment ! You are both protected. We need to pray and be thankful for this. 

Yes. We need to be thankful and yesterday, we did give thanks especially for this. This discovery of AFib.

What’s the biggest miracle, though? That God forgave me of that niggling, pride that seems to hover under the surface of my being. And although I often have to confess this sin and ask forgiveness, he always forgives. He promises that, he will forgive our sins.

How about you? Is there something you need to confess to God today? If you honestly ask him to reveal a problem you have–just as I asked him to reveal to me,  he will do just that for you as well.

“Lord, thank you for showing me:_____________.  Please forgive me. I know you will if I ask and I am asking. Thank you! In your name, Jesus, Amen.”

Now we can start our day. Thankful we are forgiven. Knowing he loves us so much. Knowing our lives are in his hands.