Summertime brings Conferences. Family camp. Bible conferences. Teacher conferences. Writers conferences. I’ve been to all of these, but the professional ones are the most challenging. They give me butterflies.

Why butterflies? I always feel inadequate. I wonder why I’m at this place. My inner voice tells me I’m not good enough. Qualified enough. I ask myself, “Am I ready for this?” Time and experience don’t seem to matter.

I remember my first ever music workshop my first year of teaching. It was on a Saturday in Seattle. After my hubby and I found the location after several tries in a city we didn’t know that well, we found it. I entered the classroom in a basement room at a church. In those days, we dressed up for classrooms and professional events . When I walked into the room in my nice professional skirt and blazer, with high heels, I was dismayed to see everyone dressed very casually. I learned a lot at that session. Some fun dances to do with kindergarteners, new folk songs I’d forgotten. But I would have been more comfortable in jeans and t-shirt, rather than my professional attire. Note to self for my next music workshop–casual dress.

I followed my aunt’s wise advice when I decided to try a writer’s conference. She told me to “go to the best one.” She advised  the Mt. Hermon Christian Writers Conference in California. Set near the Pacific Ocean, in a wooded quiet area, with rustic cabins, beautiful grounds, with many places to sit nestled alongside huge trees.  A bookstore filled with books to tempt me. There were trails to follow through the trees with a fantastic view of the Pacific Ocean at the top of the mountain! A chapel with views of the redwood trees right outside the window, inspiring speakers and worship music that fed my soul. I enjoyed  sessions with multiple ideas. Before attending that first conference, I wasn’t sure if I would write a book. After meeting with editors–some who encouraged, others who asked why I’d want to dwell on my sadness. Others discouraged me because of my lack of a platform–no one knew me–why would they want to read my words? But one said I was a good writer and maybe I should try self publishing. That’s who I listened to and began my journey of writing.

Attending this conference on my own, knowing no one wasn’t easy. I had been widowed for about 14 months and still felt raw inside. I made friends at that conference–it didn’t matter to them that I’d not written anything. They were warm and accepting. Some of those I met have remained my friends and I continue to connect with them on Facebook and meet at later conferences.

After those five days, I felt encouraged to begin the process. It took about a year when I published my first book, telling my story of second chances. A second chance in restoring a floundering marriage, and a second chance at loving another after my spouse had died, and second chance of hope when I was once again alone.

Writing that book was a positive move for several reasons. First of all, it helped me in my grieving process. It helped me remember a marriage that was very short, but memorable. It made what I believed was a beautiful story into reality. Writing the book gave me confidence. I remember my financial advisor when writing down my profession asked, “Shall I put down “writer” as your occupation?” I gulped and told her yes.

That was the beginning of my writing career eleven years ago. Since that time, I’ve felt more prepared attending a conference. Armed with samples of my writing,  a one sheet, book proposal, business cards, pamphlets with information about me, I’ve been more prepared.

Tomorrow I will be experiencing another “first.” This time, I’m attending a conference taking place in Grand Rapids, Michigan, not physically, but virtually. I’ve got my schedule all printed out and ready–I am on Pacific time, they are on Eastern–three hours difference.

 

Today, we prayed for my readiness for the conference.  What a treasure my Jim is!

All ready for granddaughter Sarah and Russell’s wedding

I’m reminded of Moses:

2 So Moses summoned Bezalel and Oholiab and all the others who were specially gifted by the Lord and were eager to get to work (Exodus 36:2 NLT).

How about you? Are you facing something new? Do you feel inadequate in this something new? Are you gifted in some area and you are reluctant to embark on developing it even more?

Yesterday, at the first day of my virtual conference I wrote a couple of phrases that struck a chord within me:

Take the risk and step. God gives the call and will carry you!

I love that. If God is calling you, take the first step and He will carry you. I took the first step when I attended that first writer’s conference when I wasn’t sure if I was a writer. I still deal with platforms. I revisit pain and continue to write about it. I deal with writing proposals, one-sheets, and story telling–my story as well as other’s.

And those butterflies? Ignore them and step out. If God has given you the call, He will carry you.

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